Be honest in your online dating life. But “honesty” doesn't mean you need to promote your absolute grossest traits.
I’ve been writing about online dating for a long time now, and I always advise new daters to be honest with who they are and what they’re looking for. But sometimes, daters are too honest. When you’re approaching someone online for the first time, you want to be nice and complimentary without being fawning, and you want to put your own preferences out there without being terrifyingly weird or creepy. This message, sent to a lady on OkCupid, does all of those things wrong:
Hello sexy. I’m a nice guy but I have a small penis. Would you make fun of it and have to cheat on me?
Calling a stranger “sexy” on first contact is generally a guaranteed no-responder. Discussing your tiny penis and seguing into your cuckolding fetish (or not-so-deeply resentment issues)? It’s an impressive feat in two sentences, but not a good idea if you actually want your small penis to ever get touched.
This next online dater makes a similar mistake:
You look very beautiful and your profile fits the kinda people I want to meet, I’m a bit of a sex addict and can’t function without it lol, I know is a bit brutal but that’s the truth, I try to be as honest as possible , pls just say hi and we can chat, you don’t have to comit to anything until you decide if, I will send you my pics no problem.
X
A lot of things are “the truth.” It is the truth that I drool all over my pillow whenever I nap and that sometimes I fart so loudly in my sleep that I wake myself up. None of those things needs to go in my online dating profile, though, or in any sort of communiqué to a potential suitor. You are choosing what you put in your dating profile. Don’t choose things like “sex addiction.” Or “lol.”
Also: Don't send creepy messages that you know are creepy and then justify it by saying you're just "straight-forward." You're not straight-forward, you're just gross: